It used to get really bad were i thought i was going to strangle my daughter when she was a toddler. Memory problems and trouble multitasking are among the symptoms of POCD, a little-known condition that affects a substantial number of older adults after surgery. Background, skip if too long: I'm a 22 year old female and I never ever want to hurt kids. I feel disgusting. And when remembering him I don't feel anything but my mind is trying to convince me I'm attracted to him by like thinking "he's still pretty cute" or "he's the type of guys you're into" (if you're wondering what he looked like, it was similar to this: https://menhairstylesworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Undercut-Hairstyle-for-Men-with-Spiky-Hair.jpg (another note was that he was brown as well and I find brown people attractive as well)), And like I'm pretty sure it could've been an intrusive thought as well because literally one time, while just RANDOMLY SITTING ON MY BED, I had an intrusive thought tell me "you're in love with your brother" and I was able to get out of that and haven't relapsed that thought, but this thought just terrifies me too much and it scares me to no end. A subreddit dedicated to discussion, articles, and images regarding OCD. specific body parts, body positioning, style of dress) of prepubescent children, pubescent adolescents, or of anyone “too young” is an indicator of pedophilia False memory obsessions, such as obsessive concern that a pedophilic act occurred and was somehow blacked out of memory (e.g. It wasn't until I started fearing that I caused harm in another situation, that I stopped obsessing about the olive bar. But by the next day I felt terrible and I kept running thoughts through my head like "what if I did something inappropriate to the kid, like grabbed her (ugh I hate writing this shit)?" Forum Navigation I was afraid that I might cause someone harm. People who suffer from this kind of OCD can doubt constantly about whether or not they have committed a serious crime such as killing or raping someone. Reply (0) Report. It made me feel disgusted and was what made me finally leave. Anyway seems like my ocd likes to go through phases, so like it started with the terrible thoughts, which were really ruff. Menu. I have had thoughts of self-harming even though I never ever want to do that. I had put on hand sanitizer, but not much since it came as foam from an automatic dispenser, and I had already rubbed it against my hands. That means that just the act of reviewing a thought reshapes the details or feelings of the memory in small ways. In this video I address a subtype of OCD, POCD. I have a huge problem of creating stuff in my head, stuff that feels so real, that I have a fear of touching people in an inappropriate way and even feeling sometimes as if I had. I shall try that. A false memory is when “the sufferer gets an intrusive thought that they’ve done something in the past and the sufferer cannot differentiate whether the thought is a memory or an intrusive thought” (Preston, 2016). I was fine being around kids and this shit wouldn't have even crossed my mind. There is never any evidence that the ‘memory’ is anything but false. Before I had been worrying and obsessing about a loss of innocence from my childhood, but then it became hugely about sexual orientation. And I noticed how she was touching all of the candy in front of the cash register which I thought was cute. I'm new here on this forum. Of course they're irrational like any OCD fear, but since I've experienced similar fears, I can see exactly how the disorder could make them seem terrifying. Well, I noticed they were open and that someone might see me half naked in my room even though they were only open a small amount. It is called “false memory OCD”, as there would be no actual evidence that something has happened. Somewhere along the way my thoughts start to think of him like being "cute", and even though it's hard to remember I think the thoughts were along the lines of "he's gotten older and more attractive" or "if he was older he'd be attractive", but then I remembered he was still like 11 or something and never thought about it again. The online program for OCD that takes you through treatment in the comfort of your own home. I can absolutely understand those specific examples you gave. Before my OCD got bad like this I never had thoughts like this. I remember one day, i was at a grocery store and was in relative proximity to an olive bar. Absolute horrendous. This is a little hazy because I've gone over it so many times in my mind. I have OCD and a complex personality disorder. You already rationalized it and there's no real other question, you just sound like you're in the middle of a panic attack making snap judgements. 40% . Forum User. Like at least it isn't real kids, but it's still pretty gross imo. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. false memories, pocd. Fear that noticing adult characteristics (e.g. It was either I was riding my bike or watching my little brothers play which is when the thought came in) and I start to think about the friend they play with. For HOCD, POCD, Harm OCD, Scrupulosity, Contamination, False Memory, and many more themes. Still, he says, the POCD and false memories are ‘awful’. As a disclaimer: This video does not address actual pedophiles or condone pedophilia in any way. However, this is not true of most dissociative disorders. I can't give you proper reassurance because it's not good for us, but I will say things are going to be okay. Over the past year, my anxiety has been one of the worst experiences of my entire life. The answer is simple - there are not enough specialists that work with OCD and Anxiety related disorders. POCD Incidence 0% 10% . Many individuals do not have specialists in their area and are unable to get the help they need and deserve. can someone please help me i cant remember what ive done. Still, he says, the POCD and false memories are ‘awful’. POCD (pedophile OCD), typically has its own unique array of triggers. The more frequently this happens, the more ingrained the false memory becomes. Do you also have flashes in your head like a memory but you can't remember very clearly? But this time, I found myself fearing that I am losing my sexuality. Introduction. Around three years ago I had a really severe POCD false memory fear that lasted for like a week and then went away. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! And I tried to rationalize by saying that I would never do something like that, would have no desire to etc. Thank you so much for your reply, it was very helpful to read. *trigger warning* Sorry if this ends up being really long, I'm just freaking out right now and need to write my thoughts to someone anonymously. I just need someone to read this and give their opinion on it because I can't tell anyone who knows me in real life. Every time it shifted to something else, I always viewed the previous obsession as being easy to handle. If you stand on a tall balcony, do you ever notice yourself getting the urge to climb on the railing, or the thought of doing so? Hi, I suffer from POCD....a long time I had to deal with intrusive thoughts and groinal responses but at the moment false memories seem to be my biggest problem. POCD false memories? First off if you have OCD you should be talking to a therapist. And my window blinds were slightly open. Generally, the onset of an episode could occur in as little as a few hours after a real-life situation or event, though it can also take place up to a few years … I read and enojy rape porn, that doesn't mean I'm pro rape or would find rape hot in real life. Taught by a true specialist. Once this fear is gone, the manifestations of this fear that cause the pervasive dissonance you're experiencing will subside. Taught by a true specialist. This post has been thanked 1 time. However, it's incredibly difficult at the moment. Orthopedic . I also experienced this and just tell yourself it's not you and you are just being confused by your OCD. This, of course, makes us desperate to think back all the more in order to prove the memory wrong. I know one woman who has been haunted by a false memory … So, it comes as no surprise that the mother lode of horrifying ideas finds its home in the mind of so many OCD sufferers. 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